Sunday, July 31, 2005

Pointless...

This past Friday, after days of pestering and two missed appointments, my sister Courtney finally gave me a haircut. I asked for "the usual" and let her do her thing. I was so engrossed by the issue of RollingStone that I was reading, that I didn't realize that she had trimmed my point completely off. Sadly, what remains is a Fashion Hawk... something far inferior to what I wanted. For fans of "the point," don't worry... I will grow one out by the next time I see you (sorry Meg, I didn't have the heart to tell you on the phone). The lesson to be learned: hair (especially a super sweet point) is far more important than a two-month old article about Beck.


Country Time

From time to time I like to go on drives through the country. Not because I like the smell of dairies, but because I love the beautiful scenery. Ordinarily, the views are not that attractive. But after purchasing some bomb sunglasses for $5 at a Kwik-E-Mart, I've been able to see the world through another lens (or lenses). These sunglasses have orange lenses and make everything look criz-azy. Colors are so vivid and everything around me looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Yesterday happened to be a particularly beautiful day. The sky way blue (and not grey) for once and we actually had clouds. So I put on some ethereal music and took a nice drive through the country. The green of the cornfields seemed to pop out at me and looked so beautiful against the blue and white sky. My drive was one of the most beautiful and surreal experiences I've ever had. The lesson to be learned: sunglasses are much cheaper than hallucinogens, but yield the same results.


Shake Them Haters Off!

Last night I felt compelled to put on one of the five bike-racing shirts that I recently scored at a thrift shop (for a dollar each). Inspired by the tight-fitting shirt, I grabbed a bike and decided to race it through town. The shirt conveniently has two pockets located on the lower back. One held my iPod and the other held a bottle of water. As I enjoyed my bike ride, I heard someone yell "Hey Fruit!". The lesson to be learned: don't let the haters get to you. People who drive are jealous of the privileged people who ride bikes.


A Righteous B

For dinner, my mom brought home the biggest burrito that I've ever seen. It really hit the spot after a draining bike ride. Lesson to be learned: burritos are to be eaten and not thrown out of car windows.


Cute As A Button

Thanks to Miss Grace Dirkes, my sister Hannah is now sporting some choice button bracelets. Last night an old lady walked up to her and said: "Can I see those bracelets? Oh, buttons! I'm fascinated by buttons. Wow! (awkward period of staring at the bracelets) Wow, buttons are so fascinating!" Lesson to be learned: buttons are the preferred BLING on the elderly.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Hustle & Slow: Nacho Ordinary Job

Kid And Play:

Until last weekend, I was in love with every aspect of working at Galaxy 9 Theaters. I enjoyed cleaning spilled nachos off the carpet, holding dance battles between my coworkers, poring ice in urinals, smiling big, and giving a thumbs up to everyone who deserved one. But Friday was the day I had been dreading for three weeks: the day that I would begin working concessions. Concessions is definitely the busiest job, and creates the greatest number of opportunities for customers to become frustrated and act out in a rude and abrasive manner. Friday rolls around and I find myself thrust into my dreaded job on or busiest evening. So I did what any kid would do, make the most out of what you have by treating the whole situation as a big game. Along with having to learn how to do my job, I tried to sell particular food items that people didn’t want to buy. “Hey, I know you only want a small drink and small popcorn… but if you get our ‘Batman Combo,’ you can get a large popcorn and a large drink in this super sweet Batman cup! So can I interest you in this cup and combo?” In addition to playing games involving customers, I would play games with myself. Working concessions in extremely intense and fast-paced, but only in spurts. We will have an hour rush, followed by two hours on nothing. This is the time when we restock and prepare for the next rush. But there’s only so much preparation that can be done, which never takes two hours. So once the important and immediate things our done, I have two main games that I like to play. One, I try to clean the same spot of the counter as many times as I can before someone realizes that I’ve cleaned the same spot more than 15 times in one hour. While cleaning, I often look for fascinating people. My town is a breeding ground for people who make me smile and question everything I think reality is. Mullets, on both adults and kids, are a common sight. A recent trend has been temporary tattoos. Women of all backgrounds and styles, throughout the past week, have been sporting fake tattoos… which I’m fascinated by. The most fascinating moment of last weekend came from an unlikely person. As I was handing someone their 84 oz soda, I looked up to see a 30-something aged woman playing a shot’em up arcade game. Here’s a woman who looks like she has just stepped out of an Anne Taylor catalogue holding a gun and blowing away zombies. It was such an odd sight—I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.


Small Body, Large Coke:

I would have to say that he cutest thing that I’ve seen in the past month came from a very small body. As I was tearing customer’s tickets, I looked down to a mini Dakota Fanning holding the biggest drink we sell (to give you an idea of how skinny she was, hold together your pointer and middle fingers—that’s about the width of her forearm). She had her arms around the coke as if she was hugging it (but it was more like she was holding onto it with all her strength). It was such a cute sight to see a 3 year-old girl holding onto a cup almost as long as her torso (and nearly as wide).


Not So Late Registration:

I was in Wal-Mart on Monday and I saw a sign advertising Kanye West’s new CD. According to the sign, the CD came out on July 12. I felt a mixture of excitement and disappointment. I was pysched to pick up the album, but frustrated that I hadn’t purchased it two weeks earlier. I was surprised to hear from an employee: “Sorry dude, we are completely sold-out of it...” So next, I went to Target, only find that there wasn’t even an empty space where the album once was. On top of that, the “CD Guy” hadn’t ever heard of Kanye West. Why is it that guys who should be working in comic book shops, work in the music section of popular stores? I kept thinking to myself: This CD is a big deal!!! Why are there two shelves of Bow Wow CDs and no one seems to know anything about “Late Registration.” Long story short, I got impatient and decided to by the album on Amazon. It turns out that the CD doesn’t come out until August 30! Apparently, the Wal-Mart employee who told me that the album was sold out, also works in the model airplane section and was high on glue at the time I talked to him.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

12 oz. of Atlanta

Coca-Cola is so choice. One of the perks of working at a movie theater is free soda. On my breaks, or during slow times, I'm almost always drinking the sweet milk of the South (12 oz. at a time). I love my job-- who wouldn't like smiling big and tearing tickets for 7 hours? Some people ask me: "How is it that you're always so happy when you're at work?" The answer is simple: Coke adds life! Well friends, this has been my brief endorsement of a Classic drink. So to all my friends in Steubenville... throw one back for me, I'm throwing them back for you (on the job, even). Much love!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Carnies, Doughnuts, and Drug Tests

Note: the following story depicts actual events as described to me by Hannah Casares.

As my sister walked around the Orange County Fair, she couldn't help but covet the giant stuffed Nemo fish that various people had won at the carnival. Much like a woman from Napoleon Dynamite, she said aloud: "I want that." This moment of weakness allowed her to journey within talking distance of a carnival worker. As my sister and her friend Sarah waited in line for "La Grande Wheel," they heard a strange voice saying to them: "Ladies, ladies, come here." They looked up to see a Carnie gesturing them over. My sister, being the adventurous girl that see is, accepted the Carnie's invitation and began to talk to him. He said to her: "One win earns you a prize!" My sister's greed instantly kicked in and she responded, "How about one win earns me the 'four win' prize?" Realizing what he was up against, the Carnie replied with: "How about I give you a prize (holding up a small stuffed dog) even if you don't win." Hannah: "Nah... I want to take home the giant animal." [Alright this is where is gets sketchy...] After a moment of hesitation the Carnie worker said to my sister: "Well, I could say something right now..." "What?!?" replied my sister, confused by situation.
"Well, if you don't win you can take me home."
"I don't take men I don't know home."
"Hi, I'm David-- now you know me!"
"I'm sorry, I don't take strange men home."
"I'm not strange-- I'm a Carnie!"
"Oh, look Sarah... we just lost our place in line and five people went ahead of us. We better get back in line."
Apparently, there were several other run-ins with "David the Carnie" throughout the day, but this was the most memorable. The lesson to be learned (if you are a female): stay away from the Orange County Fair, unless you would like to go on a date with a self-confident Carnie named David.


Moving on... I was driving this morning and I saw a cop eating a doughnut. I couldn't help but laugh. I know that cops are people too... and doughnuts are tasty... but it was just a funny sight! So I had a few good chuckles and was on my way to my drug test. That's right: drug test, baby! I had to be tested for my new job. The sad thing is, I didn't even get tested today. I drank all that water and psyched myself up for nothing. I don't know if you've ever peed in a cup, but it's more challenging than it looks... I get stage fright very easily.

Monday, July 18, 2005

A Beautiful Mind

This past weekend was more fun than a barrel of monkeys (which are a lot of fun)! On Thursday I drove down to Huntington to eat lunch with Megan Breen. We went to the Sugar Shack, a place where "everyone in Huntington has to eat at least once a week." The food was good, but the service was redic. As the waitress was placing my plate on the table, I turned (not seeing her) and was hit in the nose with my plate. Caught off guard, I replied: "I'm really sorry (in a very sincere tone), I'm blind in this eye." The girl felt terrible! Megan, feeling a little embarrassed, told the waitress that I was lying. The waitress, feeling like an idiot, called me an A-hole (she said the actual word)... I quickly responded: "I'M THE A-HOLE (out of anger, I actually said the real word)? YOU JUST HIT A BLIND GUY IN THE EYE!" She continued to give me the business, but I shut her down by saying: "Could you please speak up (pointing to my left ear), this is my bad ear." Much banter was exchanged throughout the next half hour. It was concluded with her saying: "Just eat your food so I can go home." My response: "I'll eat your tip with it too."

After lunch, Megan and I drove down to Coronado to surprise Sam on his birthday. After hours of searching, we finally met up with Sam He was very surprised to see me... we hadn't talked once all summer. It was a fun evening of crazy-loud times and embarrassing people in public (if you can imagine Sam and I acting that way).

The next day was "Aubrey Marks Day," which consisted of me making a list of things that I'd like to do and allowing Aubrey to hang out with me (I kid). It was a lot of fun! Last semester Aubrey and I would go on random missions at 1 or 2 in the morning and I really missed those times. Friday was a good opportunity to relive the fun that we had at school, but on her home turf. We went thrifting in the gay district of San Diego, rode bikes for a really long time (the highlight of my time with her), and watched Full House, among the various other things we did that day. That evening, before I had to leave, we did the last thing that was on my list: eat rugged mexican food. To testify to how authentically rugged the food was, I still have an upset stomach three days later (no joke).

After dinner it was time to do what I came to San Diego to do: SEE SUFJAN STEVENS!!! I got to the concert an hour and a half early and was the first person there. This allowed me to walk directly up to the stage, dead-center. The opening band began to play and there were hardly any people at the venue. As I looked around, I noticed that Sufan was standing just behind me. I casually and discretely went up to him (so as to not blow his cover) and got his autograph-- it was awesome. An hour and a half later, Sufjan and the Illinoisemakers [scroll down to see a picture of them] took the stage. I've seen some good bands in concert, but never have I been so impressed by a person's talent! Sufjan's ability to compose complex and beautiful music, combined with his phenomenal voice, floored me. I couldn't help but smile the entire concert. On top of that, I was just three feet from him-- it was unreal. I can't even put into words what seeing Sufjan meant to me, but of course I will try. Think back to 1998, when the Backstreet Boys were huge and girls were crying and screaming at their concerts. These girls were extremely excited to see these dudes. On the inside, that's how excited I was! Sufjan is my Nick Carter and I was mesmerized by him every minute he was on stage. In a few words, Sufjan is a genius and the concert was the bomb!

If you ever get a chance, see Sufjan in concert-- he will not disappoint!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

"It's quite okay for a gangsta to wear sandals." --Common

Well, friends... it has been a long time since I last blogged. So many fun and crunk things have happened in the past month and I hope that this blog will not look too time-consuming to read. I haven't blogged in a whole month, so please hear me out.

The beginning: About a month ago the Sweetheart Gang made their second pilgrimage to Columbus to see Iron & Wine. It was glorious! We were about 6 feet from the stage, in the center. The whole concert, Meg and I were hoping that he would play Trapeze Swinger (are new favorite I&W song). And guess what... Trapeze Swinger was the only song that he played for his encore. It was maybe the best 9 minutes and 31 seconds of my life! And Sam Beam winked at Meg as the entire Gang gave him a thumbs up (she's still in shock a month later). A perfect end to a flawless concert (opening band excluded). As a nightcap, we made our way to Waffle House to eat some Dirty South cooking-- enough said!

My remaining time in Steubenville was marked with much prayer. Not being in school for my last three weeks there, and having lots of free time on my hands, allowed me to be very introspective and prayerful. I really learned to love silence and grew in a deeper understanding of myself as a man. I walked a lot each day, with the intention of being in silence with God and simply enjoying His beauty in creation (for those of you who know Steubenville, please do not laugh... I'm serious). It was a very simple and powerful time of growth.

At this time I would like to give some shout outs to all of my friends! In reflecting on my life and its many blessings, I was especially thankful for the friends that God has generously given me. Each one of you love so well and encourage me to be a better person. I always feel so appreciated and respected when I am with you, and for that I am extremely grateful. Mad props to all my homies!

The Middle: At the end of June I made my way home. It was tough to say goodbye to all my friends in Steubenville whom I had gotten use to hanging out with everyday... but I knew that I had to go home. Shortly after returning home, I turned 24 on July 1st (also Sufjan Stevens' birthday). It was a pretty good day overall. My parents threw a party for me and it was good to see my extended family. My kid sister made me a birthday cake that said "Happy Crunk Day!", which was off the hook!

The End: for the sake of length, and to write about more important things (I kid), I will write in a later blog about the many changes that have been taking place in my life. Now it's time for an "All-Chicago" review of some CDs that I've been recently listening to. Click on the title and artist to go to Amazon.com to sample songs from these discs.


Common - "Be [edited]": Enough good things cannot be said about this album. In a time when so much attention is being given to Southern Rap, particularly due to the upcoming release of the motion picture Hustle & Flow, Common's CD is a refreshing and intelligent showcase of Mid-West talent. Produced by Kanye West, also from Chicago, this album is jam-packed with original beats and witty lyrics that will not cease to impress you and make you smile. Common proves with "Be," that credibility is more important than notoriety. Take that Dirty South! Grade: B


Wilco - "Being There": This Chicago-based band has been around for over ten years, but has only received national attention since releasing "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" in 2002. This album, which was released in 1996, is arguably as good, but less mainstream. I honestly hadn't heard any music from this disc until a few months ago when I saw Wilco in concert. Though unfamiliar, the songs performed struck me as being extremely catchy and powerful. "Being There" is two discs of breath-taking vocals and is truly a gem. It is definitely worth a listen and will not disappoint any Wilco fan. Grade: B+


Sufjan Stevens - "Come On Feel The Illinoise": This album is a masterpiece of originality and beauty. I argue that this is the best CD that has been released this year. Sufjan's second theme CD dedicated to one of the 50 states (his last being dedicated to Michigan), chronicles his memories of his time spent in Illinois. You simply need to listen to this CD, it is like nothing I've ever heard and there is no point in describing it. Standout tracks include: "Concerning the U.F.O Sighting...," "Jacksonville," "Decatur...," "Casimir Pulaski Day" (my personal favorite), and "Chicago." Grade: A

I'm going to see Sufjan in San Diego on Friday. Fortunately, I got the day off... so I will not have to quit my job. I missed seeing him once and it was not going to happen again. It is sure to be a concert of a lifetime and I can't wait to see my homeboy live!

Well, if you made this far... you're a good friend. Thanks for caring and much love!