Carnies, Doughnuts, and Drug Tests

Note: the following story depicts actual events as described to me by Hannah Casares.

As my sister walked around the Orange County Fair, she couldn't help but covet the giant stuffed Nemo fish that various people had won at the carnival. Much like a woman from Napoleon Dynamite, she said aloud: "I want that." This moment of weakness allowed her to journey within talking distance of a carnival worker. As my sister and her friend Sarah waited in line for "La Grande Wheel," they heard a strange voice saying to them: "Ladies, ladies, come here." They looked up to see a Carnie gesturing them over. My sister, being the adventurous girl that see is, accepted the Carnie's invitation and began to talk to him. He said to her: "One win earns you a prize!" My sister's greed instantly kicked in and she responded, "How about one win earns me the 'four win' prize?" Realizing what he was up against, the Carnie replied with: "How about I give you a prize (holding up a small stuffed dog) even if you don't win." Hannah: "Nah... I want to take home the giant animal." [Alright this is where is gets sketchy...] After a moment of hesitation the Carnie worker said to my sister: "Well, I could say something right now..." "What?!?" replied my sister, confused by situation.
"Well, if you don't win you can take me home."
"I don't take men I don't know home."
"Hi, I'm David-- now you know me!"
"I'm sorry, I don't take strange men home."
"I'm not strange-- I'm a Carnie!"
"Oh, look Sarah... we just lost our place in line and five people went ahead of us. We better get back in line."
Apparently, there were several other run-ins with "David the Carnie" throughout the day, but this was the most memorable. The lesson to be learned (if you are a female): stay away from the Orange County Fair, unless you would like to go on a date with a self-confident Carnie named David.


Moving on... I was driving this morning and I saw a cop eating a doughnut. I couldn't help but laugh. I know that cops are people too... and doughnuts are tasty... but it was just a funny sight! So I had a few good chuckles and was on my way to my drug test. That's right: drug test, baby! I had to be tested for my new job. The sad thing is, I didn't even get tested today. I drank all that water and psyched myself up for nothing. I don't know if you've ever peed in a cup, but it's more challenging than it looks... I get stage fright very easily.